Feb 05, 2008 - 04:05:28 CST
The AARP and the North Dakota Highway Patrol deserve serious commendation - serious, because an issue they're addressing is so heavily laden with human emotion: The adult child having to convince an older-age parent to give up driving.The emotions belong to the parent, who likely equates driving with independence and worthwhileness, and belong to the adult child, who might well take the hit of incurring the parent's wrath and undergoes all kinds of feelings on his or her own part. "This means Dad really is getting old. But I want him to be safe, and heaven knows I don't want him hurting anyone else."
A strange thing is how so often, even in a family of several siblings, it falls to a single family member to take on the villainous chore. It's really more like bravery and the exercise of love to take Mom's car keys, but it sure makes a person feel like a bad guy.
The AARP is working with the patrol to present a 90-minute seminar called "We Need to Talk ... Family Conversations with Older Drivers."
It's not totally a how-to course in the technique of grounding Mom or Dad. There is as much emphasis on setting forth a process in which the older person is as much of a participant as possible. When we perceive warning signs about ourselves from a list by the AARP, we need to start questioning our own driving ability. "Friends and relatives not wanting to ride with you. ... Trouble judging gaps in traffic at intersections and on highway entrance/exit ramps," and so forth. AARP also has a driver's safety program and something called "Older Driver Skill Assessment and Resource Guide:Creating Mobility Choices."
The last-mentioned aspect of the material is quite relevant in North Dakota. In very few places is there mass transit. And the person in Wing who's used to driving his wife of 60 years to Bismarck to go to the clinic faces a new life reality if it's time to stop driving. There are the good folks who are relatives or friends who can provide rides, but it means having to ask for help - age reducing (and the person could well feel it as a reduction in status) someone who's been a productive member of society for decades to being a needy soul.
What if Wing or Flasher or Hannover each had a person with a telephone and some computer skills, such as the ability to do time grids and scheduling, to be the town ride-pool angel? It would be so much easier on the pride to phone up the angel who does this as a service than for it to feel like you're constantly begging the charity of a ride from a busy daughter-in-law or the next-door neighbor who's only 67 years old.
True, a lot of towns have this in place on a very informal basis, but to be optimal people would have to know whom to call and say, "I'm going to Bismarck on Friday, leaving here at 9 o'clock and getting back around 5. I have room for three."
Above all, the AARP and the patrol let people know that it's OK for them to talk about these difficult matters openly.


Chris wrote on Jul 30, 2008 5:06 PM:
Online Editor wrote on Feb 13, 2008 8:51 AM:
Senior Advocate wrote on Feb 12, 2008 10:13 PM:
Concerned wrote on Feb 12, 2008 9:41 PM:
Git R Done wrote on Feb 12, 2008 7:40 PM:
Git R Done wrote on Feb 12, 2008 7:37 PM:
BTW, why the change in format, with having to enter in our email address? Will I have to enter that in each & every comment? That's a PITA! "
No Common Sense wrote on Feb 12, 2008 5:05 PM:
Absolutely. If I were to cause injury or death because my abilities were diminished or impaired, I would never be able to live with myself. If that was the law, and I wanted to drive, then I should be tested to make sure all are safe.
Again, driving is a priviledge. "
Bengy wrote on Feb 12, 2008 3:45 PM:
No Common Sense wrote on Feb 12, 2008 3:30 PM:
! wrote on Feb 12, 2008 1:47 PM:
I also agree that the elderly should be re-tested every few years to ensure they are able to safely drive. I realize it takes away their freedom, but the inability to drive safely could take a life away! "
MR wrote on Feb 12, 2008 9:56 AM:
C3PO wrote on Feb 12, 2008 9:44 AM:
Rusty Shackelford wrote on Feb 12, 2008 9:42 AM:
people use on ramps to get up to a wopping 40 mph before they get on to I-94. Then they slow down to 50 mph on I-94 and don't use there signal lights getting off. Slow and go is not what those big red octagonal things mean. Every day driving here is an adventure in making it home without getting in an accident. "
ndguy wrote on Feb 12, 2008 8:53 AM:
Conservative wrote on Feb 12, 2008 8:27 AM:
C3PO wrote on Feb 12, 2008 8:16 AM:
maNDan Jim. wrote on Feb 12, 2008 7:55 AM:
REX wrote on Feb 12, 2008 6:10 AM:
expositor wrote on Feb 5, 2008 5:04 PM:
solution wrote on Feb 5, 2008 3:20 PM:
Your all Nuts!!!! wrote on Feb 5, 2008 2:09 PM:
Local Yokel wrote on Feb 5, 2008 12:52 PM:
BabyT wrote on Feb 5, 2008 12:47 PM:
Radio wrote on Feb 5, 2008 12:20 PM:
kev wrote on Feb 5, 2008 12:17 PM:
People age 75 and older have more motor vehicle deaths per 100,000 people (25) than other groups except people younger than 25 (29).
Per mile driven, drivers 75 years and older have higher rates of fatal motor vehicle crashes than drivers in other age groups except teenagers.
Per licensed driver, fatal crash rates rise sharply at age 70 and older.
source: http://www.usroads.com/journals/rilj/0101/ri010102.htm "
SE Forty wrote on Feb 5, 2008 11:59 AM:
Youngest Son wrote on Feb 5, 2008 11:49 AM:
Oldest Daughter wrote on Feb 5, 2008 9:45 AM:
Oldest Son wrote on Feb 5, 2008 9:21 AM:
PO3 wrote on Feb 5, 2008 8:52 AM:
Indie Conservative wrote on Feb 5, 2008 8:26 AM:
weshar wrote on Feb 5, 2008 7:20 AM:
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